The Pieces don't fit anymore...

I dunno why, but i just have to get emo on a saturday... Maybe it's just the heavy rain in the morning.. argh!
Well, had supper with "President" and Andy last night in Simpang while sipping some Baileys... Been drinking alot nowadays...guess it's just the sleepless nights that made me drink more these days... Know something, i'm rather tired of acting strong in front of everyone, it's really tiring... Met up with Sherlynn on thurs night, went drinking all, realised that she really changed quite alot. Sometimes i just don't know how my heart feels... one part of me says move on, but the other half of me still loves her deeply. That's why after all these while, trying to get into another relationship fails me badly. I'm really shocked by some of her behaviour now, maybe i just don't know her enough or she really changed too much. Well, maybe it's better to keep some things as memories then going back, trying to fit the pieces together, which at the end of the day, might just hurt each other again.
Maybe it's good just to submit myself to God and let Him decide what's my next step. I wanna find back the old Joel.. The old Joel who was once fat, ugly, but happy and real... This is killing me, i'm tired... really tired...
Before i end my entry today, i wanna tell my Water Polo guys that i really appreciate each and everyone of you cus only when i'm with you guys, i see myself:) Next, Fiona, thanks for the Baileys, and..... I wanna see your Identity Card! wahahaha!
Signing off! ciaos:P